


Rookies, Free Agents and The Biggest Group Chat Ever

by tillyenna



Series: 15-16 Draft GC [21]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Crack Fic, M/M, No Fourth Wall, chat fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:56:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26976223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tillyenna/pseuds/tillyenna
Summary: Turns out, our lil babies weren't the only one with a group chat... the rookies are invited to the big boys chat :D
Relationships: Auston Matthews/Frederik Andersen, Claude Giroux/Danny Briere, Connor McDavid/Leon Draisaitl, Dylan Strome/Alex DeBrincat, Eddie Lack/Robert Luongo, Jeff Carter/Mike Richards, Matthew Tkachuk/Everyone, Michael Latta/Tom Wilson, Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews, Sidney Crosby/Nathan MacKinnon, Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick, cale makar/carter hart
Series: 15-16 Draft GC [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776370
Comments: 88
Kudos: 178





	1. The Big Boys

**Author's Note:**

> Look folks, read the tags, this fic has peeksy in it, if that is a problem for you, then go back here, please don't read and then whinge about how much better it would have been without him in. Ta :D

TBear:

| 

OMG THE BABY GAYS HAVE A BABY GAY GROUP CHAT JUST LIKE WE DO  
  
---|---  
  
TBear:

| 

IS THIS NOT THE CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD?  
  
Segsy:

| 

How baby?  
  
TBear:

| 

Like, 15 draft? Davo’s lot  
  
Segsy:

| 

BABIES  
  
Segsy:

| 

LETS ADOPT THE BABIES  
  
Sid:

| 

Are we suggesting adding that lot into OUR chat?  
  
Sid:

| 

Because whilst I’m contemplating adopting some of them  
  
Sid:

| 

That’s a LOT of kids  
  
Nate:

| 

You desperately wanted to adopt some of them Sid  
  
Segsy:

| 

HOW COME YOU GUYS GOT TO MEET THE BABY GAYS?  
  
Kaner:

| 

Wait, who ARE these baby gays?  
  
Sid:

| 

Is it unethical if we out them to you guys?  
  
Carts:

| 

Do we want babies in our group?  
  
Carts:

| 

Like, I’m old these days  
  
Nate:

| 

What if the ones Sid wants to adopt are all Flyers?  
  
Claude:

| 

WHAT?  
  
Danny:

| 

WHAT??  
  
Richy:

| 

😂  
  
Sid:

| 

The tiny flyers are funny  
  
Sid:

| 

I like them  
  
Claude:

| 

You can’t have my babies.  
  
Claude:

| 

ALSO WHICH OF MY BABIES ARE GAY???  
  
Sid:

| 

Oh, have none of them trusted you enough to come out to you?  
  
Sid:

| 

It would suck to be a captain that wasn’t trusted by his rookies with that.  
  
Sid:

| 

Must be so hard for you…  
  
Claude:

| 

Fuck off.  
  
Danny:

| 

My money’s on Patrick  
  
Claude:

| 

That’s wishful thinking  
  
Taze:

| 

Also he’s MY rookie  
  
Taze:

| 

Idc if he’s a flyer.  
  
Taze:

| 

ALSO BRIERE HE IS VERY DEFINITELY TOO YOUNG FOR YOU  
  
Richy:

| 

We already knew briere was into cradle robbing  
  
Richy:

| 

Exhibit A:  
  
Carts:

| 

Giroux…  
  
Danny:

| 

Fuck off  
  
Claude:

| 

Fuck off  
  
Kaner:

| 

Taze is very protective of his rookies okay?  
  
TBear:

| 

Do we want me to ask them if they want like, a joint, mega chat?  
  
EJ:

| 

DO ITTTTTTTT  
  
EJ:

| 

I’m in love with half of them already  
  
TBear:

| 

You and your damn twink fetish  
  
JT:

| 

It’s not a bad plan though, mentoring some of the younger guys in the league though  
  
Danny:

| 

Are we responsible enough to be mentors?  
  
Claude:

| 

As someone you mentored…  
  
Claude:

| 

No 😂  
  
Staalsy:

| 

JT’s right though  
  
Staalsy:

| 

Like, maybe we can be the voice of experience  
  
Willy:

| 

You have to have experience to be the voice of experience  
  
Segsy:

| 

Yeah, doesn’t that rule you out Staalsy 😂  
  
Staalsy:

| 

I hate you all.  
  
Lack:

| 

Lu’s a good mentor :D  
  
Richy:

| 

You WOULD say that  
  
Richy:

| 

We all know how well he mentored you 😉  
  
EJ:

| 

Does everyone except me sleep with their rookies?  
  
TBear:

| 

YOU SLEPT WITH SAMMY  
  
EJ:

| 

Fair…  
  
Segsy:

| 

Wait, TBear did you start this mega chat so YOU can find a rookie to bang  
  
TBear:

| 

God damnit


	2. The Little Boys

Josty:

| 

SO, Tyson Sr has been in touch with me  
  
---|---  
  
Josty:

| 

And apparently there is already an NHL queer boys chat  
  
Stromer:

| 

Guarantee it’s not better than ours  
  
Josty:

| 

Wasn’t suggesting it was  
  
Josty:

| 

But they have offered to see if we want like, a mega chat  
  
Josty:

| 

With all of us  
  
Matts:

| 

And the +1s who aren’t in this chat?  
  
Josty:

| 

With literally everyone.  
  
Howdy:

| 

But presumably we have to decide before knowing who is in the chat  
  
Josty:

| 

Tys Sr didn’t want to tell them who we were  
  
Josty:

| 

But equally, didn’t want to tell us who they were, without like, knowing who we are  
  
Davo:

| 

That’s understandable  
  
Davo:

| 

Completely understandable  
  
Howdy:

| 

I’m not sure.  
  
Josty:

| 

It’s not like, all of us or nothing?  
  
Josty:

| 

But honestly, they’re all queer guys too.  
  
Josty:

| 

I wouldn’t worry about being outed by these guys  
  
Howdy:

| 

It’s not that.  
  
Howdy:

| 

It’s like…  
  
Howdy:

| 

If I joined the chat and found another ranger on it  
  
Howdy:

| 

Knowing they stood there in the locker room and didn’t fucking speak up  
  
Howdy:

| 

Knowing they stood there in the locker room and watched ME not fucking speak up  
  
Chucky:

| 

Brett, babes, we’ve been over this  
  
Chucky:

| 

Not wanting to put your neck on the line does NOT make you a bad person  
  
Chucky:

| 

It makes you vulnerable and scared and that is fucking ok.  
  
Chucky:

| 

And IF there is another ranger on that chat, then it would be the same for them  
  
Howdy:

| 

Plus, y’know… I really don’t want to lose this chat.  
  
Stromer:

| 

WE ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE  
  
Stromer:

| 

If this chat is older guys  
  
Stromer:

| 

They are NOT going to want to sit and listen to me whining about how much I miss my bae and my BAE  
  
Stromer:

| 

They aren’t going to fucking put up with Patty and Teeks and all their rat weirdness  
  
Stromer:

| 

Chucky probably hasn’t slept with half of them  
  
Chucky:

| 

WOAH NOW  
  
Chucky:

| 

We can’t say that without knowing who is on the chat….  
  
Stromer:

| 

My point is, a new chat would never replace this  
  
Brinks:

| 

But it could be nice to have like, other people  
  
Matts:

| 

I’m with Brinks  
  
Matts:

| 

Like, knowing that there are other guys in the league who go through what we do  
  
Matts:

| 

Who deal with the same shit we do  
  
Matts:

| 

It’d be cool to chat with them  
  
Josty:

| 

Well, I’ve made a group chat.  
  
Josty:

| 

Or rather Tys Sr and I have  
  
Josty:

|  <link>  
  
Josty:

| 

That’s the link if you wanna join  
  
Stromer:

| 

BUT ZERO JUDGEMENT IF YOU DON’T  
  
Davo:

| 

Judgement free zone.  
  
Hartsy:

| 

What if our teammates are on there?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Yeah, we aren’t like, out to anyone on the flyers.  
  
Josty:

| 

Like, I guess they’re having the same thoughts?  
  
Josty:

| 

But they aren’t going to be assholes if they’re also queer  
  
Chucky:

| 

I’m totally joining… more hookup potential no?  
  
Chucky:

| 

Also, like, could we ask the older guys to confirm not WHO they are, but like…  
  
Chucky:

| 

For howdy’s sake, could they say whether any of them are rangers?  
  
Chucky:

| 

Because that isn’t outing anyone  
  
Josty:

| 

I can ask?  
  
Josty:

| 

Ok, Tyson Sr says none of the current Rangers roster are on the chat  
  
Josty:

| 

But there is at least one person who is related to a ranger  
  
Stromer:

| 

So am I…  
  
Davo:

| 

WAIT….  
  
Davo:

| 

THIS IS A VALID POINT  
  
Davo:

| 

If there’s homophobic shit in the locker room, why isn’t Ryan speaking up?  
  
Stromer:

| 

He’s “straight” remember?  
  
Davo:

| 

Not the point.  
  
Davo:

| 

He has two queer baby brothers…  
  
Stromer:

| 

That…  
  
Brinks:

| 

That’s a VERY good point.  
  
Marns:

| 

Want me to get JT to bully him about it?  
  
Stromer:

| 

Naw. But I will point out that it’s not cool  
  
Stromer:

| 

OBVIOUSLY without outing you Howdy  
  
Matts:

| 

I like the way our captain is your bitch now Marns…  
  
Marns:

| 

HE’S NOT MY BITCH  
  
Marns:

| 

He’s my friend and my teammate  
  
McLeod:

| 

Who CLEARLY has a crush on you  
  
Marns:

| 

HE DOES NOT  
  
Marns:

| 

He’s just a good captain  
  
Matts:

| 

He’s exclusively a good captain… to you.  
  
Matts:

| 

That’s a crush mouse.  
  
Marns:

| 

I’m gonna go join the OTHER group chat since you guys are so mean to me  
  
Matts:

| 

HOW IS IT MEAN TO SAY THAT JT HAS A CRUSH ON YOU?  
  
McLeod:

| 

What if HE’S in the other group chat!!!!  
  
Stromer:

| 

OMG  
  
McLeod:

| 

I KNOW  
  
Davo:

| 

We should do this…


	3. ALL THE BOYS

| 

TBear has created the chat: QHL II  
  
---|---  
  
| 

Josty has been added to the chat  
  
| 

EJ has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Burky has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Nate has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Sid has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Davo has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Stromer has been added to the chat  
  
| 

McLeod has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Marns has been added to the chat  
  
| 

JT has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Matts has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Freddie has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Segsy has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Chucky has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Drai has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Willy has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Latts has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Danny has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Claude has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Richy has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Cartsy has been added to the chat  
  
Segsy:

| 

Jesus, how many of us ARE there these days  
  
| 

Teeks has been added to the chat  
  
Richy:

| 

You’re telling US  
  
| 

Hartsy has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Cale has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Brinks has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Staalsy has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Kaner has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Tazer has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Lu has been added to the chat  
  
| 

Lack has been added to the chat  
  
Cale:

| 

😳  
  
| 

Cale has left the chat  
  
Hartsy:

| 

😂  
  
EJ:

| 

😂🙄😂🙄  
  
Nate:

| 

LMAO  
  
Nate:

| 

Get your boy back Hartsy  
  
| 

Hartsy has added Cale to the chat  
  
Sid:

| 

Is that everyone now?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Patty won’t join fyi  
  
Chucky:

| 

Hold on, just doing some convincing  
  
Chucky:

| 

BE NICE  
  
| 

Howdy has been added to the chat  
  
Chucky:

| 

Also I need someone to do some math for me  
  
Stromer:

| 

?  
  
Stromer:

| 

You want to know whether the proportion of people you’ve fucked is higher in this chat or the old chat don’t you  
  
Chucky:

| 

:D  
  
Chucky:

| 

This is why I like you Stromer.  
  
Drai:

| 

🙄  
  
Chucky:

| 

@Davo, is your boy gonna roll his eyes at everything I say?  
  
Drai:

| 

🙄  
  
Davo:

| 

Apparently so…  
  
Davo:

| 

Can both of you PLEASE play nice.  
  
Lack:

| 

(Is it bad that I only know who half these kids are?)  
  
Lu:

| 

You’re fine… there’s only one goalie, that’s the only one I’d expect you to know.  
  
Lack:

| 

The world needs more queer goalies, that’s all I’m saying  
  
Lu:

| 

Am I not enough for you anymore 😭  
  
Sid:

| 

Should we go round and introduce everyone and say what teams they’re on?  
  
Stromer:

| 

Some of us technically don’t KNOW what team we’re on atm  
  
Kaner:

| 

YES YOU DO STROMER  
  
Kaner:

| 

YOU ARE STAYING WITH ME  
  
Stromer:

| 

Apparently I’m staying with PK  
  
Stromer:

| 

:D  
  
Stromer:

| 

Also, PK, since you and tazer are both in here, CAN I ASSUME THAT MY ASSUMPTIONS ARE CORRECT?!?!  
  
Hartsy:

| 

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Literally vibrating right now, PLEASE CONFIRM  
  
Tazer:

| 

Confirm?  
  
Tazer:

| 

What are we confirming?  
  
Kaner:

| 

I think we’re confirming that we’re banging  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING!?!?!  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Is it fuck buddies, is it boyfriends ARE YOU SECRETLY MARRIED?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Chill Cahtah  
  
Hartsy:

| 

NO  
  
Hartsy:

| 

THIS IS LITERALLY THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE  
  
Josty:

| 

What about the day we literally just had where we introduced you to the love of your life  
  
Hartsy:

| 

He understands why that takes second place to this  
  
Kaner:

| 

Taze and I are dating… not married  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Yet…  
  
Kaner:

| 

???  
  
Tazer:

| 

@Claude is your goalie ALWAYS like this?  
  
Claude:

| 

No…. no he’s normally very calm  
  
EJ:

| 

He ships you guys  
  
EJ:

| 

Hard  
  
Tazer:

| 

He what?  
  
Segsy:

| 

Don’t go down that road Taze  
  
Segsy:

| 

It’s not safe down there.  
  
Teeks:

| 

@Hartsy you still breathing?  
  
Claude:

| 

Seriously Carter, are you still alive? Because you’ve now gone weirdly quiet  
  
Teeks:

| 

@Cale is Hartsy still alive?  
  
Josty:

| 

They’ve gone off to have 1988 themed victory sex  
  
EJ:

| 

HAH. No.  
  
EJ:

| 

They’ve gone off to read fanfic together... victory fanfic reading  
  
Nate:

| 

Except now we know that with them the fanfic reading LEADS TO THE SEX  
  
Nate:

| 

Something from which I am scarred for life.  
  
Stromer:

| 

I’m just mad you guys didn’t tell me and Kit  
  
Kaner:

| 

You didn’t tell us…  
  
Brinks:

| 

You guys are the vets! You’re supposed to do shit like that  
  
Kaner:

| 

Tazer thinks it doesn’t matter  
  
Tazer:

| 

Look, what Patrick and I get up to outside the rink isn’t the business of any of our teammates.  
  
Tazer:

| 

I have no desire to hear about yours and Stromer’s relationship, and I figure it’s the same  
  
McLeod:

| 

Just… FYI  
  
McLeod:

| 

If you have no desire to hear about Dylan and Binks…  
  
McLeod:

| 

You have to kind of NEVER TALK TO DYLAN EVER  
  
Stromer:

| 

I’M NOT THAT BAD  
  
Davo:

| 

Yeah you are  
  
McLeod:

| 

Yeah you really are  
  
Marns:

| 

100%  
  
Brinks:

| 

I love you….  
  
Brinks:

| 

But you kind of are 😂  
  
Hartsy:

| 

UGH we did NOT sneak off for victory sex  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I hate you all  
  
EJ:

| 

That reminds me  
  
EJ:

| 

@Claude I need you to fine your goalie for me  
  
Claude:

| 

🤨?  
  
EJ:

| 

He stole my rookies virginity  
  
Hartsy:

| 

SLANDER  
  
Hartsy:

| 

He gave it to me willingly 😉  
  
| 

Cale has left the chat  
  
Hartsy:

| 

😂😂😂😂😂  
  
| 

Hartsy has added Cale to the chat  
  
Kaner:

| 

Why are you not PROUD of your rookie for losing his v-card?  
  
Claude:

| 

Yeah, I’m not fining Hartsy for that  
  
Danny:

| 

What’s the opposite of a fine  
  
Danny:

| 

Can he have that?  
  
Willy:

| 

All hail the baby goalie?  
  
Sid:

| 

I mean, they all worship him in philly anyway  
  
EJ:

| 

You guys aren’t my friends anymore  
  
Nate:

| 

It’s fine. We can just fine Cale double  
  
Nate:

| 

And he’ll make sad puppy eyes at Cartsy Hartsy  
  
Nate:

| 

Who will then pay it for him  
  
Teeks:

| 

Lol @ cartsy hartsy  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Yeah, that’s a NO on both fronts  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Cale can pay his own fines  
  
Hartsy:

| 

And that is WORSE than Cahtah Haht  
  
Richy:

| 

It’s also HIGHLY CONFUSING  
  
Richy:

| 

Just fyi  
  
Carsty:

| 

Agreed!  
  
EJ:

| 

BUT CALE IS MY BABY  
  
EJ:

| 

DO YOU NOT LOVE YOUR ROOKIES ON THE FLYERS?  
  
Cartsy:

| 

@Danny does 😂😂😂😂😂  
  
Richy:

| 

Wait, is this why Giroux doesn’t want there to be fining on the flyers for taking a rookies v-card  
  
Richy:

| 

Incase we retroactively ask for Briere to pay up  
  
Danny:

| 

I hate you all  
  
Cartsy:

| 

I’d like it noted on the record there that there was NO DENIAL OF STEALING BABY G’S V-CARD  
  
Claude:

| 

Fuck off!  
  
Cartsy:

| 

Definitely no denial  
  
Davo:

| 

Y’know, I thought that joining a chat with a bunch of vets would mean like, a step up in levels of maturity  
  
Latts:

| 

You realise we’re all hockey players yeah?  
  
Willy:

| 

I’m not sure we even know what maturity is :D


End file.
